• Alina Rubinshteyn

Stockholm Syndrome

Updated: Feb 29

Yep, I had to #google that one! And when I did...I couldn't think of anything more accurate to describe my experience with parenthood!

Today, after cleaning up, LITERALLY, every meal that my toddler ate off the floor, with the help of my fur baby of course, getting hit in the face by a remote, the back of the head, the front of his head and things that I don't even remember, an embarrassing outing at a restaurant, that I don't even care about...because that meant I avoided yet another clean up at home...I thought..."man, what would life be like without kids right now". I know, THIS IS HORRIBLE, HOW COULD SHE EVEN THINK IT...well, I did! and this vision was GLORIOUS! My husband and I, embracing our careers, living in a house that's always neat and clean, traveling all over the world, surprising each other with date nights / trips because you can just pick up and go. In this vision, I was able to leave the house without needing to leave instructions step by step for whomever is coming over to watch my kids, not worrying about what Girl Scout event I might miss, or how to sew on those damn, I mean, sweet patches! IT. WAS. GLORIOUS!

Then, as my 1.5 year old's foot found it's way toward my eye and snapped me out of this day dream, literally slapping me right back in to reality...I was back at the house that feels like a place where a constant party takes place, that I'm always forced to clean up after, but am never invited to, bedtime, tears, etc.

We put the kids down, sit down on the couch and guess what??? I MISS THEM! I can't wait for the hectic morning! That glorious vision that I described above, all of a sudden becomes so small and irrelevant! I wouldn't trade this for the world!!! My "captors" have my whole heart for the rest of my life...even during the times when I dream of my "freedom".


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